Balance

I know that balance is an issue for all of us these days. I think it's something that is particular to our generation. Women and in particular, mothers, are still struggling to define themselves. We're still trying to find a happy medium between work, home, play and everything in between. And I find that even a balance in friendships is difficult these days. Finding the time to stay in touch or get together. Understanding that we all have different demands and that some friends can't give as much as they used to, or even understand what you need anymore. And in turn that our own lives don't allow us the energy to give as much as we would like to.

I've had a number of people come in to my life recently that I would very much like to spend more time with or time talking to or emailing and yet it can literally take me weeks to respond to an email. And I find myself saying that I'll return that phone call when I've got a quieter minute. When there is no such thing anymore.

Writing this blog is the same. I have so much I would like to say and yet I have so little time to sit down and write it. I am writing this post at 1.10am as a last ditch attempt to catch up before I get to go to bed. And I   wanted it to be about why I'm collecting fabric and what it means to me, but that would take longer than I have and more brain cells than I can muster. So instead I'm cobbling together a post with the last few pics of the studio and hoping that you'll forgive me my apparent lack of care.

I constantly think that it must just be a case of planning better and wonder if I should use daily planners and spreadsheets and diaries etc. But I have this slightly irrational fear that if I get in to too much of a routine that I'll get stressed about slipping out of it! And I don't need more to be stressed about. Hmmm...

Is there something that I'm missing? How do you all manage to keep a balance in your lives? Or maybe you don't? Are we all just stumbling around, positive that we've forgotten something, because I have to say that that is the overriding sensation in my life - that I've forgotten something.
And then of course I walk in to the room to this scene, and realise that it's a pretty good ride I'm on and I wouldn't want to get off for all the tea in China.

I'm still pretty sure I've forgotten something...

Edited to say - Crap, I did forget something! I forgot to say that the wonderful picture in the first photo was my birthday present from the marvelous Kristy . Love it!

Comments

[meg]

It's funny - I've been thinking about this issue a lot lately. Struggling with it, actually. I can tell you this much, though: If you're anything like me, you'll lose your list/spreadsheet in one of the many piles and forget (or should I say "forget"?) to ever check your dayplanner. Yes, I'm still looking for THE organizational method. ;)

[Stacy]

Thank you ... You've put into words exactly how I've been feeling lately. Glad to know I'm not alone. I always enjoy visiting your blog.

[erin scissorhands]

i was on the phone with my brother when i initially visited your blog tonight, so i was mainly just focusing on the beautiful photos. i thought to myself how organized your life looks and how much i wish i could be on top of things like you appear to be...and then i came back later when i had a minute to actually read it, and it turns out that it's the complete opposite (or so you feel).

balance is such a strange thing to me. it can be interpreted so many different ways. sometimes i wonder how the balance in my own life is compared to other people. and then i usually over think it and start questioning everything i do...it's such a vicious little cycle, isn't it? best of luck to you with this issue.

[Rachel Haynes]

moms as artists, artists as moms.. I can't begin to fathom how anyone can strike a livable balance between the two except by accident and only on rare occations. I don't mean to sound pessimistic. I try very hard to be a positive person. And yet, when my 15 month old has a day like today, when all he wants in the whole world is my full and utterly constant attention for the entire day, I can't imagine how I will ever be able to do the muse justice again. I do take comfort tho, Manda, in the fact that artists (such as yourself) whom I admire and envy, are in the same boat right along with me. I do believe, if there is a way we shall find it, everyday, because our work and our kids are everything.

[janet clare]

you've hit the nail on the head again! Balance is impossible on a daily basis; so I am trying to settle on a balance for the week as a whole - (Monday house, tues craft, Wed I might actually give the children my undivided attention...), but having said that I'm not running a business. I'm supposed to be running a business but am finding reasons to delay - I'm nervous about commiting I suppose.

[Lucy]

Don't panic. We are all the same. I have a constant "to do" list which seems to get bigger and bigger despite all the dashing about I get up to. How can I be so busy and not achieve all those things I need to? Why is there never enough time in the day? Why do I spend most of my time cleaning or tidying or clearing up - where does all the stuff come from? I love reading this blog - it gives me inspiration that one day I might be as organised and creative as you!

[Gillian]

I am not a mother (yet!) but I have to say that I am fascinated by those that are and still manage or give the impression of fitting so much in on a day to day basis, creating, working, living and loving - I have a great admiration for this when I struggle to get through my day to day tasks. I think it is an impossible feat and we all struggle but somehow we all manage to get there in the end - living our lives and doing what it is we are here to do!

[tracy]

yep - i can be found stumbling around looking for things ..........
tracy x

[momomimi]

Right with you on this one. I think the thing about having kids is it makes you acutely aware of time, I think back to before I had kids and think of how much time I wasted (sleeping, watching the tele). Now every second is so precious, I feel the need to fill it with something meaningfull. It just doesn't always work out that way!! Hope you manage to find your balance.

[paper. string. cloth]

I think that all of us are stumbling around in the dark, trying the best we can to keep all our balls in the air......

Especially in Blogland, we all take photos of the pretty things, shove the mess under the table, and hope to god that no-one can tell that things are really a mess, even in just small ways.

That's when people like you make a real difference - real bloggers that write about the crappy things, as well as the good things, so we all know that even though you have a wonderful life, with a gorgeous husband and daughter, and loads of pretty fabric, you are human after all, just like the rest of us, and you, as well as us, are not alone in feeling out of control or out of balance sometimes.

Being human, after all, is the one Big Thing we all have in common. And believe me Manda, we love you all the more for your honesty and your ability to say when things are too big or too hard.

Good luck with the balance..... I'm a firm believer of method amongst madness, and organised chaos, but we all have our own ways of coping. I hope you can find yours.

Leah xxxxx

[Sam]

I am so glad I am not alone in struggling with the issue of balance. I also struggle with accepting that I may never acheive the perfect balance! By the way, I ordered that bird seed print from the buyfabricsonline website you listed in a previous blog. It was $8.19 a yard and it arrived within a week. (I also bought the aqua version of it!) I now understand why you collect fabric. I feel like the yellow one is a work of art and I would destroy it by cutting into it! See what you have started!?

[liz r.]

My personal solution to finding balance is to stop cleaning. I take care of my kids, I work my part-time editing job, and I write. After that, as long as everyone has clean clothes and food in their lunch boxes, I consider myself ahead!

[erin]

i think balance is fluid, always changing. some days lean too much one way, so i compensate by leaning the other way the next. it does take work, and i have yet to perfect it. but in the end, if my little family is happy and smiling most of the time, i think i have managed some sort of balance.

[beki]

Ah, balance. Is there really such a thing? Some days it seems like all is right, then another day will go by with pure chaos. I think that's how it goes with most of us.

[sarah]

Wow you nailed it! Its almost strange to read a post written by someone else that could have been signed with my name :) I've spent the last few weeks mulling over the exact same things. Friendships that aren't rewarding, housework that never seems to get done, unfinished projects, and a son who needs to be #1 in all of it.

For me, I need a schedule. Well...a routine ;) A schedule is too rigid, I at least need a routine outlining what to do next. I spend too much time trying to DECIDE what to do next instead of just DOING. And I need to get back to that routine.

Thanks for posting this and reminding 'us' that we all struggle with this. Even then ones with the great blogs and adorable studios! ;)

[mj]

It's funny that you mentioned balance in relationships- I've started dating recently and the change in friendships with my single friends or fear of change has been something I didn't expect to have to deal with so quickly.

I'm curious to see what you'll have to say about why you collect fabric- maybe it'll help me figure out why I do!

[Al]

Just to let you know you're not alone the following are all part of my manic life!
The kids, my husband, life at the studio, part-time work at waitrose, dog walking, school PTFA, oh and my lovely friends too! I don't know whether I'm coming or going most of the time and what if one of those balls I'm so busily juggling drops and everything falls down around me? Could I, or would I swap any of it? Of course not (well maybe the part-time job!)
Love Al x

[Mama Urchin]

The little babies on that button package - so cute.

[Angel Jem]

Don't you think life is like being a swan? You try to look calm, but beneath you're paddling hard just to keep up. Balance is a precarious thing... after all, just as you achieve equilibrium along comes just one little thing and upsets the centre again. I think we women need to accept that there is no calm centre that we are all seeking for, no neat nirvana except on CD and that we need to hold on and just keep on. Somedays I'm the hamster on a wheel, somedays I'm a playground swing. Mostly, I'm confused & looking for a way forward. It helps to know that there are others out there in the same wheel. Let's keep running together, shall we?

[Kristy]

I am always robbing Peter to pay Paul timewise.I came to realise that I will never do it all.I hate set routines and never wear a watch so obviously I rush round in a mad panic at least once a day!I couldn't even begin to remember everything I've forgotten or haven't got around to doing!I hope I remember the important stuff like hugs and kisses with my girls (+ hubby!) and make sure they always have clean underwear + food to eat.Anything else is a bonus!! Okay the food thing isn't quite right it has been known for me to forget to send packed lunches to school with my girls!Balance + me? I think we got it sorted!!

[Kristy]

I forgot to say that Kristy must have it sorted making a present for you.Most of the gifts I give are shop bought! It looks great!

[Alicia H.]

Amen.

[Amber carrillo]

I just love your blog...I have so been struggling with the same things. I've entered a weird time in my life where my best friend just doesn't have time for me anymore (or that's how it feels) and doesn't seem to want to make any effort for our friendship. It's been coming slowly for a while - I have been so sad about it but have seen how I need to just move on and go in a new direction (not sure where though). I also think as mothers we struggle today as "society" seems to put such an emphasis on achievement and less of one on our children. I know for me I always have to remind myself that they won't stay small forever and one day they'll be gone to live their own lives so when I get too stressed about getting everything done I need to remember that those little lives come first (and my hubby too). I think I don't stop enough and look around to see how blessed I am - it helps put priorities in place. I love the photo of your hubby and daughter - scenes like that are so sweet!!

[geek+nerd]

Oh Lord, I'm a dance teacher and I'm still stumbling around half the time. Call me "Grace"! It's not just you at all!

Your first picture made me giggle when you said it was from Kristy. She was my partner in the first Vintage Button Swap go round and I'm pretty sure that the third button is one that I gave her. It's funny to see things like that make the rounds in blogland!

[Mirre]

I'm just trying to keep all the balls in the air, but there's always one that slips... housekeeping, friends, reading etc, etc.
As long as you're able to accept that, it isn't so bad.