This week has been a toughie. When I wrote last week about being hit by morning sickness I didn't know what I was talking about.
This week it's been a whole different ball game and I have been feeling just about as miserable as can be. Not only do I feel constantly sick, but just the thought of all and any food makes me want to hurl. But of course if I don't eat then my blood sugar drops and I faint. So I spend hours trying to think of something that I can eat, whilst still trying not to think of actual food! And then when I do think of something that doesn't make me want to throw myself in to a vat of boiling oil, I can only eat it once before it gets relegated to the extremely long list of foodstuff that I don't ever want to see again.
Am I complaining? Well yes, actually I am. I know that I am supposed to feel grateful for feeling so awful, but it's hard to actually be grateful when I am also constantly worried that any minute now I'm going to find out that this is all for nothing. I still don't feel able to comfort myself with the positive side of all of this. In between the shouts of "Open the windows! Stop cooking! No, you can't eat that in here! Stop breathing on me! In fact, just stop breathing!" there isn't any snuggling up and planning for a family of four because it just can't be talked about.
Ack, I'm not complainging really (that was a spelling error - but I've decided that it's actually the perfect word for what I am actually doing - complaining and whinging), I do know that I'm lucky and I am going to shut up now, I just needed to vent for a second there. All done now though.
And hey, yesterday morning I actually managed about two hours of crafting before having to go back to bed and quietly moan for the rest of the day, so that's good.
I'm hoping that on Monday morning I might manage to do even more.
It's all good....
