Don't mention the F Word...

This week has been a toughie. When I wrote last week about being hit by morning sickness I didn't know what I was talking about. 
This week it's been a whole different ball game and I have been feeling just about as miserable as can be. Not only do I feel constantly sick, but just the thought of all and any food makes me want to hurl. But of course if I don't eat then my blood sugar drops and I faint. So I spend hours trying to think of something that I can eat, whilst still trying not to think of actual food! And then when I do think of something that doesn't make me want to throw myself in to a vat of boiling oil, I can only eat it once before it gets relegated to the extremely long list of foodstuff that I don't ever want to see again.
Am I complaining? Well yes, actually I am. I know that I am supposed to feel grateful for feeling so awful, but it's hard to actually be grateful when I am also constantly worried that any minute now I'm going to find out that this is all for nothing. I still don't feel able to comfort myself with the positive side of all of this. In between the shouts of "Open the windows! Stop cooking! No, you can't eat that in here! Stop breathing on me! In fact, just stop breathing!" there isn't any snuggling up and planning for a family of four because it just can't be talked about.
Ack, I'm not complainging really (that was a spelling error - but I've decided that it's actually the perfect word for what I am actually doing - complaining and whinging), I do know that I'm lucky and I am going to shut up now, I just needed to vent for a second there. All done now though.
And hey, yesterday morning I actually managed about two hours of crafting before having to go back to bed and quietly moan for the rest of the day, so that's good.
I'm hoping that on Monday morning I might manage to do even more.
It's all good....

Comments

[bigbucketgirl]

OKay...so its your stomach doing the bouncing....but really glad to know that you're still ready to fight another day.
xxx
(Now I will go and eat my Indian....SORRY!)

[saraeden]

ginger beer may help or ginger nut biscuits .... Sara x

[colleen]

Sorry to hear about the crappy food =[ I hope you find something good to eat!

[liz r.]

I am so glad to see this post! And so sorry about the awful tummy feelings. Pregnancy gets you coming and going. Just do whatever it takes to get you through the moment. Still keeping you and your family in my thoughts!

[meg]

Hey, you're among friends here - vent away! I hope the "forbidden f" list starts getting a tiny bit shorter soon; that is no fun at all.

[Meredith]

Keeping an eye on your blog for updates...sorry you feel so miserable. Take care and keeping you in my prayers for more and more positive news from the doctor.

(Also crossing my fingers that one day, far in the future, you may feel up to making those adorable pincushions again! Selfish me!! I want you well for you AND for all of us too!)

Take care,

Meredith

[Debbie]

You just go to bed and moan and don't feel guilty for it. Crikey, I did it for about 5 months. And I'm totally with you about the whole breathing thing. My husband could barely enter the same room without me hurling my guts. Noises got me to - low and behold anyone who dared rustle a paperbag within my earshot! Hideous isn't it and so hard to appreciate any feeling of luck when you're living through that hellhole of sickness. I really empathise and am totally impressed that you've blogged and have managed some crafting too - what a woman.

[Amber]

Oh how I feel your pain...I totally understand the breathing part - especially when they've just eaten something...oh and the smells - and it doesn't help that your sense of smell seems especially heightened while you are pregnant (at least for me). I'm just praying and hoping that these are all really good signs for you (although I know it feels like you are dying)...I remember telling my husband that :-).......eventually I just gave up and ate something knowing it was just gonna come up again - I based it on what was better to throw up (sorry was that too much info :-( )....just take it one day at a time....take care!!

[Jennifer]

I'm sorry you've been feeling so crummy. Is it a combination of your natural hormones and the shots? At any rate, think of all the friends out here who would be holding your hand while you barf (if we lived next door and could run over at a moment's notice).

Ginger tea, ginger snaps, saltines, gatorade... gosh I wish I had the answer!

Take care, Manda.

[india]

I feel for you - I had the same kind of thing with my son...best wishes,
India

[Joan Gibb]

Much sympathy for you Manda. This is so difficult because you do have to eat... complaining and whinging are definitely allowed.
I wish you all the best.
Joan

[Fi]

I could keep down plain bagels...I remember my hubby driving around the holiday town we were visiting, for hours, looking for bagels! And I once had a tin of minestrone soup that hit the spot and he rushed out and bought 10 tins...they sat in the cupboard for another two years! And I felt sick just thinking about minestrone soup for at least another 4 years...Ha ha, it took three years before the horror of all day sickness faded and I was brave enough to have another bout with the next kid!

[heather]

you poor thing, i could have written that second paragraph when i was in my first trimester. thoughts were totally consumed with foods that i didn't want to think about, then i'd come up with something to eat, and it could only be eaten once! except for sparkling mineral water with fresh squeezed lime and lots of ice, had tons of that. and the smells! at the time we had leather furniture (leather smell) and my husband had to move it out of the house into a storage facility! i'd take a day of labor and delivery over that first trimester anytime. take care of yourself. you should lay in bed with your laptop and just order fabric all day...

[Amy]

Reading this is taking me back to my awful first trimester...you are not alone in the sickness or the "complainging". I can't believe my husband didn't divorce me?!?!?! I remember that popsicles were ok and plain mashed potatoes were ok.

[Joy]

Oh honey, I couldn't help laughing at how you described it...but I do wish that you start feeling better ASAP. I lived on different versions of soup for quite a while this pregnancy...and bread. Plain old bread or biscuits with nothing on them. Course, I guess we aren't helping by mentioning food? *giggle*

[Kathy]

POPSICLES...its just fruit water...but frozen so it seems to work better. Had a friend survive on that the first few months.

[Mary]

the parallel universe that you inhabit when struggling with morning sickness is something only those who have similarly suffered understand - look at us all - I wish someone had suggested popsicles to me - they sound the business - otherwise all i could eat was crunchy green apples and saltinas with promite or vegemite. You just complainge away as much as you like...we are all thinking of you

[Beth]

GRRR...it sounds so bad...but it's so good, RIGHT?! Good luck next week. I loved ginger chews when I was feeling so nasty in the beginning. Actually, I really love them now too.

[Toni]

Ugh. I've never had morning sickness that bad. Such a bummer...but like I've been saying, in the best way possible :)

I'm told ginger is supposed to help, maybe sipping it in tea form?

[hpny knits]

take action and let of of the results! your minute by minute goal is to take care of yourself. don't even worry about the next hour day or month. it will help. this is why things like knitting help- one stitch at a time, one row a time!
this too shall pass- I pray it will pass fast!

[Rebecca F.]

Maybe the doc can prescribe something to help?

Driving in the car did me in. Sorry and happy for you at the same time.

[lsaspacey]

Have you tried those lemon drops yet?

[Beth]

You whine and complain all you want! Thanks for the update. We are all pulling for you!

[Jude]

Glad to hear you complainging. Have you tried those little tiny biscuits with the whirl of really hard icing on the top - I can't remember what they are called - they used to be in turquoise packaging. I love those...they are great for imaginary tea parties too. Anyway they are sweet with not too much flavour - they might just be the ticket.