Tree Fall

Q & A

Ok, I've just finished reading through your suggestions  for blog topics and thought I'd jump straight in with a few questions from the lovely  Diane.

1. What is the favourite thing you have ever made?

Now you see, I didn't put enough time in to choosing the first questions to answer - because this question takes some thought and all my thought energy is being used up at the moment  with concentrating on keeping hold of the apple pie I have just eaten whilst also resting  my laptop on my too full tummy!
That said, I think that my favourite thing ever is the quilt I made for Bella's first birthday.
As with most things since the birth of my daughter, I was not really prepared for her first birthday and of course left it until the last minute to get started on her quilt. Even though I knew well in advance that I wanted to make one for her. Duh.
My inspiration for the quilt came from two points. The first was the fact that I knew I had to use my all time favourite fabric - Liberty's Kinnear print in red - but that I couldn't use too much of it, because it's just too prescious. Which then led naturally to me finding a pattern that allowed the fabric to play a major role in the design without actually using too much.
And as soon as I saw the Japanese book Machine Made Patchwork I knew what I wanted to do - it had to be a log cabin quilt using just red and white fabrics.
This meant that I could use children's fabrics without making the entire quilt too juvenile for use past childhood as well as being able to use girly floral prints without limiting it to being too much of a feminine quilt.
Log cabin quilts are great when you want to make a multi-tasking or long lasting quilt because the overall effect can be quite different when viewed up close. It's great for making a quilt that lasts long in to adulthood, because the colours are what defines the piece rather than the individual prints.
When I started cutting the strips for the quilt I panicked slightly that it just wasn't going to work but frankly it was just too late to start anything else so I persevered.
And in fact, it wasn't until the entire top was pieced that I knew that I liked  the overall look and that my fear of it being too disjointed were fortunately unfounded.
For the backing I chose a piece of fabric that I had been hoarding for a special occasion. It was a Paul Smith cotton that I couldn't replace and that needed to be used as a whole piece. And Bella's quilt was perfect.

I really love the fact that the top of the quilt is so busy and quite childish, and then you turn it over and you're looking at a piece that has such lovely clean lines and is so graphically pure.
For the binding I used a plain red cotton which gives it all a lovely simple border.
I'm not sure how Bella feels about her quilt and if I'm really honest I have to admit that I'm not overly vocal about the fact that it actually is her quilt! And rather than sitting on her bed, it sits on the back of the chair in the front room. Of course when it comes down to it I'll tell her it's hers. Honest. I will.

2. Do you get bored making the same thing more than once?

In short, yes a little. I don't mind with most things, especially if I can alter it a little each time. But if it's a piece that's fiddly or intricate then I kind of dread doing it again and again. For instance, it's not a coincidence that I've only made one (whole) hedgehog! That thing takes a lot of work!
That said, I also take a little comfort in making something that I know how to make. I often find working through a new design quite daunting and some days really do enjoy just cutting the pieces for an existing well worn design. (except at the moment, because leaning over my cutting table makes me want to vomit!).

3. How many hours a week do you spend sewing?

Well, obviously almost none at the moment. Bah. But when I'm not preoccupied by my stomach contents, I usually spend pretty much as much time as I can sewing.
With Bella at nursery two days a week now, I have those two entire days. And for the rest of the week I fit it in where I can. If Bella naps then I use those two hours and as soon as Jim walks in the door I head up to my studio for the rest of the night, and Jim puts Bella to bed.
I also hand sew whilst Bella plays in one of the many indoor play centres that I take her to, and can even occasionally manage a little  whilst she plays in the house (although that is usually dependent on Dora being on tv!).
In short, if I'm not looking after Bella then I'm sewing. I'm not wonder woman at all, I fit in so much crafting at the expense of almost all housework and definitely all relaxation!

Thank you Diane for asking such great questions and I hope I haven't bored you all with my answers.
Oh and although the answers may not immediately illustrate just how much thought I put in to them, it's actually taken me 4 hours to write this post!
Brain dead? Yup.

Reruns.

I guess I wasn't lying when I said that we may be blogging a little lite around here! I desperately want to keep posting and not just about how sick I am, but I just haven't been up to it lately.
This past week has been really, really hard to deal with. The combination of my 'normal' horrible morning sickness and the HCG injections has completely floored me. Bella and I ended up at my parents house for most of last week and the rest of the time I've been laid up in bed. I am not exaggerating when I say that physically I have never felt worse and emotionally I've not been too hot either!
I am therefore, incredibly relieved to say that today I finally broke down and begged my GP for some anti-nausea drugs and am now feeling at least a little more human. Well I think the fact that I'm able to write this shows more than anything else that I'm feeling a bit better.
Anyway, the slight upturn in my ability to stay upright has meant that I actually managed a couple of hours work today! And that I managed (finally) to print out all of your questions/suggestions for things I can blog about whilst I'm still feeling a little fragile. So I intend to start working my way through them over the next few weeks. The only problem now is that I don't have any new photo's to accompany new posts, so I guess I'm going to have to subject us all to some reruns! Sorry about that.
So, hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with not even a mention of sickness, nausea, dizziness, faintness, sickness, nausea or sickness. Ok? Cool.

The photo is of a quilt I made earlier in the year. I keep having big plans to make a new one, but you know how it is. One day...

Yes. She does dress herself. And I love her so for it.

Party Time.

The need to be a super woman is occasionally overwhelming, whether it's a good idea or not.
I had already decided to be sensible earlier in the week and took Bella birthday present shopping for one of her friends, instead of making something myself. Something that I really did have to talk myself in to, because it just felt like I was letting the side down with a store bought gift - especially when Bella very gleefully chose a dress up, sparkly fairy outfit that I would never have chosen to give as a birthday present. But as I said, I had decided to be sensible and not pile on pressure that just did not need to be there, and in all honesty I think Bella much preferred choosing a present than waiting for me to make one. So we were all happy.
Until yesterday morning, when for some insane reason I decided that Bella must, must wear a handmade dress to the birthday party itself. The party that was due to start in 4 hours. The one that I still needed to get to the shops to buy myself something to wear for.
Sigh.

So I gave in to the urge, telling myself that there wasn't really any pressure because I had a beautiful dress that the very kind Jennifer of Sophie and Lili  had sent for Bella, that I would be more than happy for her to wear. See? No pressure.
Hmm.

And to be honest, it did all go pretty smoothly, with a minimum of rushing around.
I managed to cut and sew most of the dress before we popped out to by me a new (bigger than normal) outfit (my current wardrobe is not fitting so well these days!).
And when we got back I finished it all up, adding a flower (first successful one ever) and even ironing it. With time to spare.
You see, it is possible to do it all. Even with morning sickness.
It's just not possible to do it all and cope with a two year old that does. not. want. to. wear. it.
I know. We've been there before. I should have known. And I did in fact know.
I just didn't know that I too would appear to have the emotional control of a two year old at the moment.
I'm not at all proud of my behaviour. As a rule, I try and act like the grown up and leave the tantrums to Bella. But not yesterday. No, yesterday it was a competition to see who could yell louder and cry harder, with Jim yelling at us all.
Not our finest hour.
The outcome though?
Well, Bella finally agreed to wear the dress and loved it as soon as she saw herself in the mirror and I promised her that I would try not to scream again. Or threaten to give her clothes away. Or tell her that I was never going out with her again.

And the party was a great success with Bella having a wonderful day and behaving perfectly.

(By the way, when I told Bella that I was giving her clothes away she said that her friend Abi would want the dress I'd made for her! And that she'd look very pretty in it!)

Don't mention the F Word...

This week has been a toughie. When I wrote last week about being hit by morning sickness I didn't know what I was talking about. 
This week it's been a whole different ball game and I have been feeling just about as miserable as can be. Not only do I feel constantly sick, but just the thought of all and any food makes me want to hurl. But of course if I don't eat then my blood sugar drops and I faint. So I spend hours trying to think of something that I can eat, whilst still trying not to think of actual food! And then when I do think of something that doesn't make me want to throw myself in to a vat of boiling oil, I can only eat it once before it gets relegated to the extremely long list of foodstuff that I don't ever want to see again.
Am I complaining? Well yes, actually I am. I know that I am supposed to feel grateful for feeling so awful, but it's hard to actually be grateful when I am also constantly worried that any minute now I'm going to find out that this is all for nothing. I still don't feel able to comfort myself with the positive side of all of this. In between the shouts of "Open the windows! Stop cooking! No, you can't eat that in here! Stop breathing on me! In fact, just stop breathing!" there isn't any snuggling up and planning for a family of four because it just can't be talked about.
Ack, I'm not complainging really (that was a spelling error - but I've decided that it's actually the perfect word for what I am actually doing - complaining and whinging), I do know that I'm lucky and I am going to shut up now, I just needed to vent for a second there. All done now though.
And hey, yesterday morning I actually managed about two hours of crafting before having to go back to bed and quietly moan for the rest of the day, so that's good.
I'm hoping that on Monday morning I might manage to do even more.
It's all good....

Sorry for disappearing. It's not bad news. We saw a heartbeat, which is obviously very good, but it's measuring a little small. Which is not necessarily a problem per se. It's just that we've heard that before and lost that one. We know that may not be the case this time and we know that things are a lot more positive in general, but we just wish we'd been told that everything was spot on. Our fears are not yet allayed.
We have to have another scan next week, to see if the fetus is growing.
And in the meantime, I am just very simply depleted. I have too much work on my plate and I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
Hopefully I'll be feeling a little bouncier tomorrow.

Feeling lucky

I don't know what to say! You've all given me so many fantastic ideas, thank you so  much.
I shall be printing them out and working my way through them all. Although I may have to ignore the requests for old photo's of me back in the punk days.
And of course thank you for all the sickness love! I have mixed feelings about just how happy you all are that I'm feeling so dreadful! Hmmmm.
We're back to feeling a little distracted again around here. We have another scan tomorrow and this one is scarier than last weeks. The last time we were in this position (2nd scan) we received the worst possible news, so we're more than a little nervous.
But I've tried to keep myself from thinking too much by getting on with things. And I have to say that I've really felt grateful over the last few days. I'm very lucky to have something in my life that I love so much. It took me a lot of years to find my real vocation but this is definitely it. Working with textiles is an absolute joy for me and truly takes my mind to a much happier place. The gift isn't having a talent, it's having a real love for something. So many people have to go through life without it. And I'm so lucky that I'm not one of them.

Bleucchhh...

We have good news and we have bad news.
The good news is that my pregnancy symptoms have hit big time. This is obviously a good sign. And they're right on schedule, which is another good sign. The only other time (other than Bella) that I've got this far along (how can it still only be 6 weeks! This is already the longest pregnancy ever) I had hardly any symptoms. However, these symptoms are just like the ones I had with Bella. Another good sign. Obviously things could change at any point, but the strength of the symptoms is making me feel just a smidgeon more positive. Only a smidgeon mind  you. We're still talking caution here.

And the bad news? My pregnancy symptoms have hit big time. BIG TIME.
I feel like absolute shit. Which is only aggravated by the enormous joke that is the phrase morning sickness.
24 hours a day sickness is a little more realistic.

I know that I should be grateful that things are doing what they should be doing, but honestly, I had forgotten just how bad I feel whilst pregnant and now I'm more than just a little panicked that I'm not going to be able to cope with the symptoms, Bella, Treefall and the blog.
I've thought more than a few times today that I'm just going to have to shut up shop for a few months - not necessarily the blog, but maybe the actual work side of it.
But then I also think that having something to focus on can only do me good. And that this time around can't be as bad as the last time, if for no other reason than the fact that I've got Bella - who seems to expect some kind of parenting from me! (take, take, take, with that girl!).

I'm really not moaning though (well maybe a little), and obviously I'm grateful that I'm in a position to feel this bad. But for the love of all that is good, can the morning (hah!) sickness just cut me some slack?

In the mean time I fear we may be having a little Blog Lite around here. Unless you guys can do the thinking for me (thinking makes me feel sick) and tell me what I should blog about! In fact that's an idea. All I need is one person to come up with a question or a theme every day for the next, well the next little while.
Please? Pretty please?

The Princess and the Pea set is available again in the shop - but it's only being made to order at the moment and takes about 4 weeks.

And I meant it about the question or theme thing - Me and the blog are looking for some serious help here!

8 Random Things

Andrea of the beautiful Country Elegance  website tagged me today for 8 Random Things. Of course I'm not sure that there are 8 things left about me that you don't all know! But I'm willing to give it a go.

1. Crime novels are my favourite thing to read. Particularly books set in the US, although I'm getting more and more into British crime writers. At the moment I'm reading the latest Michael Connelly book and a gentle little novel by Monica Ferris.

2. My favourite cd ever is Hunky Dory by David Bowie. Every. single. song is wonderful.

3. When I was a teenager I had a huge crush on Rick Springfield. And to this day when I hear any of his songs it makes me smile. (makes the  cd you sent me even more perfect  Stephanie!) and I still have almost all of his records, even though we don't own a record player anymore.

4. My mom helped me shave my head for my first mohican when I was 16. It has also been pink (my favourite), blue, green (awful), purple,  bright red, blonde and black. And the only one that my mom complained about was when I dyed it black. My dad complained about it all.

5. I was arrested when I was 11. I was Head Girl at school at the time. People were shocked. My mom wasn't, she knew I was a little criminal!

6. I've been writing a crime novel for the last 9 years (it will never be finished). And I want to write another book but I don't know what about.

7. My eyes change colour all the time. They go from blue to gray to green. I never know what colour to say they are on official forms. And I don't know why, but I never know what colour anybody elses eyes are - I seriously couldn't tell you the colour of Jim's eyes or even Bella's. It's like I have a mental block.

8. I really dislike watching Bella sleep and couldn't check on her at all when she was a baby. She looks too helpless and vulnerable and it hurts my heart and makes me feel horribly sad. So I normally just stand outside her door to hear her breathing and Jim has to go in and check on her.

I know that a lot of people have already done this meme, so I'm going to cheat and tag the first 8 bloggers that comment on this post.

We've been having real problems with our broadband, and I'm having major issues with emails being returned. So if you've emailed me in the last week and are still waiting for a reply I promise that I'm going to get back to you, it's just that there only seems to be the odd half hour here and there that I can get on line.

And I'm sorry to say that there won't be any pin cushions in the shop tomorrow - but hopefully there will be at the beginning of next week.

Dungeness.

I’m the child of an Army Colonel. We moved a lot. But throughout my childhood there was a constant. There was my grandparents house.
We visited every summer, easter and christmas and I have some of my best memories there and some of my worst.

Their house was on the beach in a place called Greatstone, which is literally along the road from Dungeness.
My Grandpa worked at Dungeness power station. We ate fish and chips from the chip shop next to the power station (and we probably still glow in the dark because of it). I used to sit on the beach stones and watch the lighthouse light appear and disappear.
On the first night of every visit I would lie in bed and listen to the waves and the gulls.

We were told off for walking sand in to the house. There was a bucket of water by the back door, so we could wash our feet. And we had ongoing battles about slaming the front door.
Every summer from the age of 3 I helped a woman called Joan unload her donkeys from a van that she parked opposite the house. And we walked the donkeys up and down the beach giving the older children donkey rides.

We walked to the shops and bought rainbow sherbet and fishing nets. And we hurled ourselves down the enormous (sadly  disappearing) sand dunes. And we collected stones that had tiny purple crystals in.
But it was also a dark place. There is a particular light in Dungeness. It’s grey and blue, even in the summer. It has an effect on almost everyone that visits and it draws in artists of all kinds. It’s a barren, lonely place and yet it has a beauty all of it’s own.

The beach front is lined with old fishermans huts with gardens of stones. The lighthouse is dwarfed by the power station and the wind blows. And blows.
I haven’t been back since I was 17 years old. And when I started cutting the fabrics for my new pillows I purposefully didn’t look at photo’s of Dungeness. I have a specific memory and it’s not of a particular place, it’s of a particular grouping of colours.
My memory is of greys and yellows and blues. It’s the colour of the stones that lead down to the beach. It’s the colour of the grass that pushes up through the sand and tickles your legs when you sit to watch the oyster catchers. It’s the colour of the clouds and the sea.

And they’re beautiful, dark colours that are still summery and fresh. Fish and chips and sand and wind and rain and rays of bright yellow sunshine.
These colours are Dungeness to me.

And this range is special to me. It's a turning point. It's the first time that I've made something that truly reflects a part of me. And it's inspired by nothing more than a memory.

It will be in the SHOP  some time tonight now.

*the top photo is me and my mom, sitting on the bench outside my grandparents back door. It's my favourite photo ever *