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Here she is! My youngest daughter!! Bella's baby sister. Our baby girl.
"These are my two girls" - doesn't that have a lovely ring to it? "Jim, tell the girls to get ready for school" - doesn't that sound nice?
"The Girls". Love that.
Almost there. Only one more day and Jim's back home again. Phew.
Bella enjoyed (I hope) an extra day at nursery today so I was able to spend the day trying to catch up with my huge backlog of orders. And I have another day tomorrow - it's the first time in ages that I've had two days in a row to myself! Especially two days of not feeling too sick.
I just hope that Bella is ok - it's the first time she's been to nursery two days in a row and I have a feeling that tomorrow may be a little bit more challenging than normal.
Today I finished a wholesale order that has been in my to do list for months (yes that is plural!).
I also started choosing the fabrics for a huge batch of bibs that are needed for both professional orders and personal gifts.
When I've been away from crafting for a while I find that I get out of the colour combination groove and that rather than enjoying choosing fabrics , I actually find it a little overwhelming.
Instead of neat little piles of different fabrics dotted about the room, I end up staring blindly in to the fabric cabinet, not unlike the way I spend hours staring in to the fridge when I can't decide what to eat!
And I end up with messy piles of different prints that ultimately will bear little resemblance to the actual fabrics I'll choose.
It's an annoying process but one that I have finally accepted as important. If I don't let myself feel overwhelmed and frustrated then I just don't get back to the point where I just know which fabrics I need to use.
I'm just hoping that I'll be back in the groove by tomorrow! Especially as I'm off to see a very special little baby for the first time on Sunday and I need some bibs amongst other things to take with me.
And talking of babies....
Just look how far away (and swollen) those poor feet look!
I had my first appointment with my coliastasis specialist (who delivered Bella) yesterday and it was the first time that I have truly felt pregnant. My specialist has an incredibly calming way about her and effortlessly makes you feel important, so it was lovely to see her again after 2 and a half years. And as soon as I saw her it answered a question for me that has niggled at me since Bella's birth.
After 26 hours of labour, 4 of which were spent pushing (!) Bella's heartbeat dropped to only 40 and Emma (my specialist) had to do an emergency delivery. And it's always bothered me that I didn't panic when it looked like Bella might die. But as soon as Emma walked in the room I knew that there was no way I could panic when she was around. She makes you feel instantly in safe hands. You just know that she's going to do everything she can.
I'm going to be seeing her for a scan every two weeks now (I'm going to know every inch of this baby before it's born! - I've already had 10 scans!!) and she's going to keep a very close eye on us.
So I left the appointment feeling the most excited that I've felt since this all started. Instead of feeling that all the doctors around me were waiting for the miscarriage, I finally felt that they were planning for a birth! I actually found myself rubbing my tummy for the first time!
Emma also told me that there is a very good chance that this baby will also be born prematurely (Bella was 5 weeks early) so although it's due date is March 9th (Bella's was March 8th) we can probably expect it around the beginning of February (Bella came on Feb 5th!). We had pretty much assumed that anyway, but it was good to have it confirmed.
The appointment did me the world of good, but it's a shame that Jim couldn't be there too, to feel some excitement at last.
Of course today I'm feeling even more pregnant because I've come down with a case of mastitis! I didn't even realise that you could get it before the baby is born, but I have. Has anyone else suffered from it whilst still pregnant? Or am I some kind of freak? (I heard that Kristy!!).
So wish me luck for tomorrow - I need to get my groove back and for Bella not to think I'm the meanest mummy in the world for dumping her in nursery again. Oh and the antibiotics kicking in would be a bonus!
It's a busy week. Jim's away and I have about a trillion hospital appointments.
I was finally discharged from the miscarriage clinic yesterday, after my last scan, so I am now officially a 'normal' pregnant women. The scan was fine, the baby is fine and I am at the point where I may well have to admit that I'm actually pregnant! And yes Mijk, I am also almost at the stage of having live baby thoughts!
My morning sickness is once again flirting with the idea of actually disappearing and I am once again flirting with the idea of 'returning' to work.
Unfortunately I'm still absolutely knackered, which is why the posts are still a tad scarce, but hopefully that will improve soon too.
This is just a quick one, but before I go, I just want to let someone that I care about know that I've been thinking about her all day today. You're in my heart Al. xxx
