It's so much harder than I thought it would be to write a normal blog post at the moment. For the last 7 years I've happily put myself out there, without too much thought most of the time.
But the words don't really come at the moment. Unless I want to write about what it feels like to be without the person that I spoke to every single day of my life until 2 months ago.
I can tell you what it's like to design something new and not be able to show it to the person who's opinion I valued the most. Or to write a blog post and to get no feedback about whether it's any good.
But it's so much harder to just write about new clothing designs or my collection of patchwork crocodiles, without sounding hollow to my ears.
I'm assuming though that like so many other things in life, if you just keep doing it, it will get easier and become normal again. I know that whenever I get stuck with new designs and lose my sewing mojo, I just keep making familiar designs, until everything goes back to normal.
Which is how I'm also facing my life on a daily basis. I'm doing all the things I used to do. And at some point, it will all seem normal and natural again. I'll stop feeling like I'm forcing the conversations that I dont really care about, and that the words that I say over and over again, every single day..."I'm fine thanks"...will actually start being true.
So I'll just keep going and tell you about my patchwork crocs, that come in 5 colourways - blue, green, yellow, orange and pink and that are all a little bit different, with their fabric combinations and soft tummys.
And I'll hope that tomorrow, when I write again, it will be just a tiny bit easier.
