Tree Fall

Finally

I still find it quite strange that people think I can sew. Not because I secretly have a small force of professional seamstresses hidden in my studio (I wish), but because as far as I've always been concerned, if you can't make clothes then you can't really sew. And by 'make clothes' I mean understand and follow a pattern.
I know that I've talked about this before, but I've always had an almost pathological fear of patterns. I suffer from dyscalculia  and for some reason it seems to extend to patterns and plans. I tend to take one look at them and my mind just goes "blurrgghhhh" and I develop a headache.

But since I seem to be determined to conquer some major fears this year (having a second baby, learning to drive - nothing big) I figured what the hell, lets learn to sew properly too.
Of course I made a start with this last year when I sewed some clothes for Holly , but I just haven't had the guts (or the time) to tackle some real clothing until now.

I have subscribed to Ottobre for quite a while and have been desperate to make clothes for both my girls from their patterns, so the other morning I decided to make a start and see what happens.
It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, but there was quite a lot of reading and re-reading of the instructions and once it was finished I realised that I'd made a few mistakes. But in general I think it was a success and I'm really excited to try another pattern.

I used one of my favourite fabrics by the wonderful Prints Charming  with a contrasting print for the binding and inner yoke. The pattern itself is in the 1/2008 issue of Ottobre and is originally in linen with a cotton lining, but I wanted to use something softer. Although next time I think I'll give it a go in the linen.
The pattern was pretty straight forward, but it still took me the best part of a day to finish it. Maybe it would have been quicker without the constant interruptions, but I doubt it. I'm pretty slow when it comes to these things.
Lily debuted the dress yesterday. And was unsure at first whether or not she liked it..

But then she caught a look at herself and realised that she was looking mighty fine...

Definitely going to make a long sleeved top for her next.
Learning to drive, making my own clothes, goodness me, whatever next?

More..

Oh my! Look what I Lily was lucky enough to receive recently.

Uh huh. Yep, that's an actual, bona fide original Bella  baby dress! Isn't it just beautiful? Of course it is, Alicia made it.
I can't tell you what a shock it was when I opened the parcel and saw this lovely dress, it really was the last thing I was expecting. Of course I can't let Lily wear it because it's just too perfect, but I'm more than happy to have it hanging on her bedroom wall.
Another gorgeous gift that is hanging on the wall is this beautiful, soft mitten and bootee set.

They were knitted by the super kind and always generous Suzie of Suziesews and I absolutely love them!
Thank you so much Alicia and Suzie.
Goodness, that Lily's a lucky girl!

And talking about lucky, we were also lucky enough last week to spend a lovely day with Hazel.

It was a very relaxed affair and just what I needed. Bella really enjoyed it too because Hazel is fantastically patient and encouraging and very kindly spent ages sitting with Bella whilst she painted and whittered on.
Please come back soon Hazel.

Don't you just love blogging?

Evolution

One of the questions that I'm frequently asked is how do I fit it all in. Of course the real answer is that I simply don't. Anyone that has ever been to my home can and will testify that housework is almost always bottom of the to do list, as are many other equally important activities.
But one of the ways that I'm getting things done at the moment is by getting up earlier than everyone else or just staying up after giving Lily her 4am feed.
I use that quiet, early morning time to either catch up on emails or to catch up on sewing. And if I am up that early then I make a deal with myself that I can work on new designs rather than existing orders, so that I can have a bit of fun.
And over the past week I've been working on a new design that's been in the pipeline for a while.

The interesting thing about the design of my new Fraidy Squirrel, is that it's success seems to be based almost solely on whether I'm working on it early in the morning or late in the evening (the only other time the house it quiet enough to focus).  Because, as I discovered last night, my mind works better when it is tired from getting up early, rather than being tired from staying up late.
I did all the original work in the morning hours and it went pretty smoothly. I started off by sketching a few bigger versions of the squirrel that I used on my squirrel tote and then added a bottom piece to make it a little more 3 dimensional. And once I was happy with the trial runs made in muslin, I moved on to cutting it out in linen.

And sat down to stitch up the linen version last night, which is when it all went askew. To say the least.
First off, I mistakenly used the smallest version of the pattern and then I stitched it up without the bottom piece (is it the gusset?). Neither of which I noticed until I had finished it.
Then, having realised my error, I started again but with a dark grey linen. Unfortunately, in my haste to remember to sew in the gusset this time, I forgot to sew on the patchwork. Then I forgot to leave an opening for stuffing it and then I realised that I had used white thread (how did that one escape my notice?).
So this isn't quite the finished object because it still needs a little tweaking. But I'm definitely going to wait until the morning to do that.

Look, it's squirrel evolution...

   

It mocks me...

My 'To Do' pile of fabric keeps staring at me. 
And I keep staring right back. Longingly.

I'm still surprised by how much time one little person can take up. Even when it's just the two of us the entire morning still disappears without a trace of work done.
One thing I am finally managing to do though is learn to drive! And you can't imagine how big a deal this is for me. Not one single woman in my family has ever been able to drive (I don't know why). And almost all of my struggles when Bella was a baby were due to not being able to drive and having to rely on other people to get us anywhere. So this is going to change my life completely.
And as if that wasn't exciting enough, whilst I'm in the middle of my 4th driving lesson, Jim is taking the girls to Bella's first ballet lesson! She's almost beyond excited about it, and keeps talking about how she's going to listen to the teacher and how she'll dance and what she'll wear. And of course, she keeps dancing around the room. I personally think she's a natural!

That fabric is still looking at me though...

Play Matters

Lily and I spent a whole day at home alone today. It was our first day without any planned trips out or any visitors. And my first day officially back at work. Or at least, that was the plan.
I'd forgotten how much there was to do when you were just looking after a baby and what it was like to try and fit everything in to nap time. So not much work was done. But it was a start, and I think that Lily and I are going to be able to strike a good balance over time.
I did manage to finish Lily's play mat though. And even managed to get photo's of her enjoying it.

The play mat is based on my original design but I pepped it up a little with some bright reds. I also stuck to just spots and checks for this one and I used extra thick batting, so it's good and comfortable.

I do love these play mats, they're the most practical thing that I make for babies and I can honestly say that Bella's is still kicking around and holding it's own (it's just not as pretty as Lily's).

It's just a shame that modeling the new play mat is so tiring.

It's all good.

We're good. Really good. Jim's back at work and Bella, Lily and I are all coping pretty darned well. Of course it's only been a few days and as we all know, those ups and downs can happen in the blink of an eye. But for now, we're doing good.
I got to spend yesterday all alone with Lily as Bella was visiting my parents, and I have to say that it made such a difference to be able to move at Lily's speed instead of the speed of sound that is Bella. And today I'm feeling much more connected to both my girls. Which is a good feeling.
The thing that I'm still struggling with is just how little time I have to do anything. Every spare minute is spent thinking of all the things I want to make and all the things I want to read or all the things I want to write. And I get around to doing almost none of it.
Still, I can't complain. I've got the girls (still love how that sounds) and I've got a million idea's and like I said, we're good. Real good.

One month...

Jim's time off work has almost come to an end and next week I start doing this all by myself. Which I have to say doesn't fill me with nearly as much dread as I thought it might. Although I really will miss having Jim around all the time. We're so much more relaxed when we can spend more time together.
The last month has somehow managed to both speed by and last for ever at the same time.

We were so much more aware of Bella's first month and so wrapped up in being new parents, where as poor Lily seems to just have to fit in and we're shocked to be at the end of the first month already.
The beginning of our life as a family of four was so much more rocky than we thought it would be. I had no idea that Lily's birth would have such a huge impact on my relationship with Bella. And no one had warned me that one day she would be the most treasured and important being in my life and the next she was just an annoyance. No one warned me that I would actually fall out of love with Bella and would resent her for being so big and loud and rude. And worst of all, no one warned me that I would have moments of also resenting Lily for changing my relationship with Bella so drastically.
Of course as soon as I spoke to other mothers of two, I found out that all these feelings are normal and very common. And now that they are a thing of the past I can understand why no one told me. But I also think it's a shame that this isn't discussed, because if I'd known that it was all normal and that I should expect my relationship with Bella to change (even if only briefly) then I may not have felt so horrifically guilty.
Of course, it only lasted a few weeks, but during those brief weeks I felt like more of a failure than I've ever felt before.

I had moments of simply not wanting to go home, because I was such a failure that both my daughters would be better off without me. And moments of actually being scared of spending time with Bella because I was making everything so much worse.
As well as feeling that I had failed Bella, I felt that I had failed Lily. We discovered when she was just over a week old that she is lactose intolerant and until we managed to get her on to special formula, we were causing her pain every time we fed her. And I couldn't help feel that was my fault and what if it was just the start of more and more health problems.  What if having those shots back at the beginning had been the wrong thing to do and I had sentenced her to a life of pain just because I selfishly wanted another baby.
It all washed over me, along with a hundred other negative, scary feelings about miscarriage, birth and everything else we'd been through.

And I'm glad to say that it's now all washed away. Only four weeks in and we're all feeling a lot more back to normal. Bella is still having days (today) of being more challenging than I would like or could have even imagined four weeks ago. But we're handling it a lot better and the days are getting further apart.
Lily is already a little star. Now that we've got her on the right food she's a happy chappy and already sleeps like a pro. She's in a great routine and most nights only wakes up for her 3 feeds. She sleeps happily in her cot in the day too and is starting to enjoy her time awake too.

We all love having her here and I can happily say that we're over the worst. I know that there will still be ups and downs but that's parenthood for you. But I also know that we did the right thing, for all of us. It was worth all that pain and it was worth putting us through every attempt we made at having another baby.
Lily's been with us a month already and what a month it's been.

xxx

Lily's Little Houses

I'm relieved to say that I'm getting back in the groove of work already. I'm not finding the time mind you, but at least I'm back in the groove and the time spent in my studio isn't wasted by my wandering around aimlessly.

The light has also been a lot better recently and I've been able to get some better photo's of Lily's quilt.
When I started making this small quilt, I intended to use mainly pink fabrics, because unlike when Bella was born, I'm a lot more comfortable with the use of pink. However, sometimes the project just has a mind of it's own, and every time I reached for a pink print, my hand picked up a red one instead.

So it's not exactly what I intended to end up with, but sometimes you just have to sit back and let it happen.
It does look lovely in Lily's cot though (not that we have it in there when she is) and I'm still loving the whole house applique thing.

I also really like the combination of colours on the back of the quilt and can envisage another one in similar colours in the (hopefully) near future.
Which is the great thing about Lily's nursery, it's 'theme' is based more on the effect of patchwork rather than an actual colour scheme, so within reason, I'm not too limited to a particular colour. And that's made it all a lot more fun. Although I do have to pull the creative reins in a little when I can feel myself introducing one too many colours or prints. But more photo's of all of that to come soon.

And sorry, but I just can't help myself....

Pointy Pointy

It's always one extreme to the other with me! I've gone from not knowing what to write about to having too much to say.
I was going to write a post with the rest of the photo's of Lily's quilt and I want to show you some new purchases as well as having pics of some beautiful gifts we've recieved. But then a gift arrived from a lovely friend and it was sunny, so a Lily photo shoot was essential. And now of course,  I just have to share the photo's with you!

Toni has always had a special place in our hearts. She was the first blog friend to ever make something for Bella and when the gift arrived both Jim and I cried at her immense generosity. I had only been blogging for a month and was so shocked when a beautiful hand made gift  arrived on our door step for Bella's first birthday.
And here we are again, two years later  with yet another beautiful gift, but this time for Lily.
When I saw this hat on Toni's blog I instantly feel in love with it and new it would be perfect for our little gnome.

But it didn't prepare me for just how gorgeous it is in real life! And just how much I love the way Lily looks in it - she really does look like a gnome!

Although once we put it on, we did discover that the poor thing may well have inherited her father's ears!

The cool thing about a hat is that I can put it on her without waiting for her to get a bit bigger. Everyone (including myself) tends to buy clothes for when Lily is a little older, because we all know that the newborn stage is so short. But it does mean that I only really have onesies to put her in and as hard as I try, it's pretty difficult to express any individuality with a onesie! Whereas I think you'll  agree that this hat allows me to express lots of individuality and personality!

I just love how pointy it is.

Actually it's a little like Lily's head when she was born...

 

I may be biased but....

I really need to start posting more often again. And am trying to think of an easy way to get back in to it. Any ideas? I don't really want to just post photo's because the light here is still iffy and it's really hard to get decent daily photo's. But I can't really think of anything else.
I'll have to have a proper think about it, but in the mean time, I am sadly proud of myself  for having conquered a whole new skill...

Yep, I finally, finally mastered my Bias Binding Maker! After owning one for over 6 months now, and frequently running out of bias tape, I sucked up the fear yesterday and finally made my own bias tape.
It took me a whole two minutes to read and grasp the instructions and then a further three minutes to make the actual binding.
Yep, that would make it an entire five minutes from beginning to end... and I've been avoiding trying to work out how to use this for the last 6 months!
Of course now that I'm a pro at it, there's no stopping me, it's going to be bias binding city around here from now on.
I bought the towel (and a further 4) that I've used the binding on, from Ikea for 10p, purely to use on Lily's changing mats. But I wanted them to look pretty, so I'm binding them all first with different fabrics (because I have so much spare time on my hands!).

And as if that wasn't enough, I also finally finished and washed Lily's quilt yesterday.

I haven't been able to get a proper photo of it yet, but you get the general idea.
I've used various red prints, but wanted a strong contrasting colour, so decided to sew the houses on to strips of blue linen and then to compliment that, bound the quilt with a blue striped fabric.
For the backing I used a piece of a duvet cover from Ikea that I really love.

Of course, it can be pretty hard to concentrate on work around here...